There have been many infamous wars in history. Events such as The War of The Roses, the English Civil War, The Jedi vs the Sith, and of course The First and Second World Wars, have all shaped history after much upheaval.

The war between HD-DVD and Blu-ray will be similarly remembered. In fifty years, grandparents will tell stories about what they did during this protracted and bitter conflict:

"I was doing work experience in Blockbuster at the time, earning two shillings and sixpence. Popcorn was rationed, so we could eat nothing but our toenail fungus."

"There could be a raid at any time. As soon as the Blu-ray delivery man was seen coming up the road, the sirens would go off and we would all run to the basement. He could be there for hours, and during the winter nights, it would get so cold, we had to use a burning pile of King Kong HD-DVDs to keep warm."

While a stalemate has continued for much of the last year, it seems the tide is beginning to turn now that Warner, who had previously only supported Blu-ray with logistics and supplies, has joined the conflict.

Actually, I can't be bothered with any more of this tosh. Internet forums, blogs and sites have nothing but Blu-ray this, HD-DVD that. 99% of the forum posts are poorly thought up fanboy arguments, with plenty of words and nothing more to say than: "I hate $ony, Microsoft rule!" or "I hate Micro$oft, Sony rule! PStrizzle!"

I've had enough. There's more to life than watching movies in such a high resolution you can see where they injected the botox into some overpaid scientologist. I dont care if both formats die. There are more interesting things happening in technology right now, besides this.

I don't usually remember dreams, but last night was an odd exception. For some reason, Steve Jobs had announced a new feature for the Maps function on the iPhone - a tie-in to the new system where you can triangulate your position based on cell towers instead of needing a GPS device.

Specifically, they'd added teleportation.

Star Trek style teleportation, except even more convenient, and much more stylish. Pull out the iPhone. Open the map. Tap where you want to be. Vanish in a stream of glitter and sound effects, instantly re-appearing on the other side of the world. Who wouldn't buy that?

In the dream, lots of people. Their first complaint was that the destination wasn't specific enough, due to that lack of GPS. It would beam you more or less accurately, but not exactly. Everyone was still somewhat nervous after the first person who tried it attempted to visit Disneyland in Los Angeles, only to accidentally beam into gang territory, somewhere in San Andreas. Somehow. Dream logic. Don't ask.

Secondly, it only worked over wireless networks, GPRS not having the bandwidth to handle the amount of information required for worldwide teleportation. Which I remember seemed perfectly reasonable, and in fact, still does. If such a system is ever invented, I doubt even 3G's ever going to cut it. EVDO? Pah! That's crazy talk for you!

I'm not sure what happened next, due to waking up with a terrible case of indigestion at around 3AM. All things considered, it's probably for the best.

Next time: The horrible story of the Syndicate-related food-poisoning fever dream. It began with poorly cooked chicken, and ended with... well.